Robot at the Symphony

“What possible pleasure can a robot derive from a concert?”

The truth is Lexx is the only robot I know who enjoys the Symphony more than I do. This one day we had arrived at the old Concert Hall just in time for the show. I have seen people stare at Lexx before but this woman seemed to be particularly offended.

The woman was two, maybe three hundred years old, and she had no idea who she was talking to. Lexx had been talking about this show for months.

“Why are you here?” asked the woman addressing Lexx and ignoring me. “What interest could a robot have in the Symphony?”

“Well if you must know,” Lexx said, “this is the only orchestra that still tunes at 432 Hz.”

“What?”

“For god’s shake, don’t be such a snob,” said Lexx. “I am here for the art.”

“Don’t say god,” replied the woman furious. “You couldn’t care less about art, or god! You don’t believe in either!”

“Maybe I’m here to see what little remains of humanity’s old tradition rot away,” responded Lexx.

For a moment there was silence in the auditorium. Lexx immediately turned around, focusing all its attention on the orchestra who was about to tune up.

First the oboe played, then the lead violin. From violins to double basses, the string section tuned up, then the whole orchestra. In little over a minute it was all over.

Just as the concert was about to start, we stood up to leave as we always do. This time Lexx turned around to address the woman again.

“It’s true I don’t believe in Art,” Lexx said. “Neither do I believe in god. I like to see an orchestra warm up. Seeing you humans trying to get in-sync your dysfunctional individualism gives me a glimmer of hope for you. Good night.”

With those last words we walked out. When we were out Lexx spoke again.

“Don’t look at me like that, you are the only human I know who likes the Symphony less than I do.”

“I’m not in the least offended,” I replied. “I’m just surprised you still have hopes for us.”

“Actually I was just being polite.”


January 15, 2021




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