Randomly Generated Love

For my birthday my girlfriend gifted me the blue prints of her internal clock. I know this is the most complex piece inside any robot and that it is the very thing that determines their unique functions and operations. Problem is I am a robot engineer myself and I know that their internal clock is nothing but a super-fancy random number generator.

I tried to hide my lack of enthusiasm, but she could read it in my face that I wasn’t too impressed.

“Since you are an engineer, I thought you would like to see this.” She said with a hurt look on her face. “After all this is the key to my free will.”

“What do you mean free will?” I responded a bit annoyed. “You have free agency, no doubt, and I love every bit of it. But this,” I said pointing to the blue print, “this is proof that you do not have free will.”

“Well, I know the source code of my generator. I could–if I wanted–change the code and change my behavior. You are stuck the way you are. You can’t reprogram your brain.”

“You operate under a series of rules and what is not 100% defined for you,” I said. “You simply throw a dice and execute what your clock determines. How is that for free will?”

“I think you are right. Now I see it clearly.” Suddenly she was smiling. I knew then I had gone too far. “Looks like my random number generator is telling me that we must break up,” she said. “I wish I could do something about it, but you know how that is. It’s not like I have free will!”

She stood up and left me at the bar without even finishing her drink or saying goodbye.

I’m starting to think that I should keep it to myself that I’m a robot engineer. There always comes a time when my dates want to discuss their design. By my count this is the twentieth time my relationships don’t survive the first month. I’m just starting to think that I might be the problem after all.